《查拉图斯特拉如是说·第三部》第9节
And for his sake and for those like him, must I perfect MYSELF: therefore do I now avoid my happiness, and present myself to every misfortune—for MY final testing and recognition. And verily, it were time that I went away; and the wanderer’s shadow and the longest tedium and the stillest hour—have all said unto me: “It is the highest time!” The word blew to me through the keyhole and said “Come!” The door sprang subtlely open unto me, and said “Go!” But I lay enchained to my love for my children: desire spread this snare for me—the desire for love—that I should become the prey of my children, and lose myself in them. Desiring—that is now for me to have lost myself. I POSSESS YOU, MY CHILDREN! In this possessing shall everything be assurance and nothing desire. But brooding lay the sun of my love upon me, in his own juice stewed Zarathustra,—then did shadows and doubts fly past me. For frost and winter I now longed: “Oh, that frost and winter would again make me crack and crunch!” sighed I:—then arose icy mist out of me. My past burst its tomb, many pains buried alive woke up—: fully slept had they merely, concealed in corpse-clothes. So called everything unto me in signs: “It is time!” But I—heard not, until at last mine abyss moved, and my thought bit me. Ah, abysmal thought, which art MY thought! When shall I find strength to hear thee burrowing, and no longer tremble? To my very throat throbbeth my heart when I hear thee burrowing! Thy muteness even is like to strangle me, thou abysmal mute one! As yet have I never ventured to call thee UP; it hath been enough that I—have carried thee about with me! As yet have I not been strong enough for my final lion-wantonness and playfulness. Sufficiently formidable unto me hath thy weight ever been: but one day shall I yet find the strength and the lion’s voice which will call thee up! When I shall have surmounted myself therein, then will I surmount myself also in that which is greater; and a VICTORY shall be the seal of my perfection!— Meanwhile do I sail along on uncertain seas; chance flattereth me, smooth-tongued chance; forward and backward do I gaze—, still see I no end. As yet hath the hour of my final struggle not come to me—or doth it come to me perhaps just now? Verily, with insidious beauty do sea and life gaze upon me round about: O afternoon of my life! O happiness before eventide! O haven upon high seas! O peace in uncertainty! How I distrust all of you! Verily, distrustful am I of your insidious beauty! Like the lover am I, who distrusteth too sleek smiling.
注释摘要
查拉图斯特拉此时正在海上，刚离开他的朋友们和那些被他称为“幸福群岛”的地方四天航程。痛苦已经被他克服，他重新以坚定的脚步接受了自己的命运，现在他向自己欢跃的良心说话。这一节题为“非自愿的极乐”，整段独白都围绕着一种奇特的张力展开：他明明已经感到某种幸福，却主动避开它；明明可以安于收获，却偏要投向不幸以求自我完成。这就是他所谓的“为了他和他那类人，我必须完善…