《少年维特的烦恼·第一部·1771 年 5 月至 9 月》第46节
AUGUST 30. Unhappy being that I am! Why do I thus deceive myself? What is to come of all this wild, aimless, endless passion? I cannot pray except to her. My imagination sees nothing but her: all surrounding objects are of no account, except as they relate to her. In this dreamy state I enjoy many happy hours, till at length I feel compelled to tear myself away from her. Ah, Wilhelm, to what does not my heart often compel me! When I have spent several hours in her company, till I feel completely absorbed by her figure, her grace, the divine expression of her thoughts, my mind becomes gradually excited to the highest excess, my sight grows dim, my hearing confused, my breathing oppressed as if by the hand of a murderer, and my beating heart seeks to obtain relief for my aching senses. I am sometimes unconscious whether I really exist. If in such moments I find no sympathy, and Charlotte does not allow me to enjoy the melancholy consolation of bathing her hand with my tears, I feel compelled to tear myself from her, when I either wander through the country, climb some precipitous cliff, or force a path through the trackless thicket, where I am lacerated and torn by thorns and briers; and thence I find relief. Sometimes I lie stretched on the ground, overcome with fatigue and dying with thirst; sometimes, late in the night, when the moon shines above me, I recline against an aged tree in some sequestered forest, to rest my weary limbs, when, exhausted and worn, I sleep till break of day. O Wilhelm! the hermit's cell, his sackcloth, and girdle of thorns would be luxury and indulgence compared with what I suffer. Adieu! I see no end to this wretchedness except the grave.
注释摘要
这封信是第一部里维特自我认知的一个关键转折点。在此之前，他还能在痛苦中捕捉到某种甜蜜——哪怕仅仅是一瞥、一次指尖的触碰，都足以让他写出几乎带有幸福感的长信。但在八月三十日，这种半醉半醒的痴迷状态破裂了，维特开始用"不幸的人"称呼自己，而且他问出的三个问题——为什么自欺、这激情将通向何处、"我不能向她以外的一切祈祷"——每一个都比他此前问过的任何问题都更清醒…