《股票作手回忆录·第十二章·棉花惨败·被专家说服》第16节
The market was not going my way. I am never afraid or impatient when I am sure of my position. But the market didn’t act the way it should have acted had Thomas been right. Having taken the first wrong step I took the second and the third, and of course it muddled me all up. I allowed myself to be persuaded not only into not taking my loss but into holding up the market. That is a style of play foreign to my nature and contrary to my trading principles and theories. Even as a boy in the bucket shops I had known better. But I was not myself. I was another man--a Thomasized person. I not only was long of cotton but I was carrying a heavy line of wheat. That was doing famously and showed me a handsome profit. My fool efforts to bolster up cotton had increased my line to about one hundred and fifty thousand bales. I may tell you that about this time I was not feeling very well. I don’t say this to furnish an excuse for my blunders, but merely to state a pertinent fact. I remember I went to Bayshore for a rest.
注释摘要
这段文字发生在他已经实质性放弃了独立判断、完全进入“托马斯化”状态之后。要理解他在这一刻的内心崩塌，必须先回到他早年起步的那个特殊场所——“bucket shops”，也就是对赌行。在对赌行里，你并不真正买入或卖出任何股票，只是在赌价格的涨跌方向，而且往往只有几个点的波动空间，一个点的反向跳动就可能让你的本金归零。那种交易没有任何从容持有的余地，对纪律的要…