《智慧书·第五辑·二〇一至二五〇》第33则
Let not the proffered Morsel be distasteful; otherwise it gives more discomfort than pleasure. Some displease when attempting to oblige, because they take no account of varieties of taste. What is flattery to one is an offence to another, and in attempting to be useful one may become insulting. It often costs more to displease a man than it would have cost to please him: you thereby lose both gift and thanks because you have lost the compass which steers for pleasure. He who knows not another's taste, knows not how to please him. Thus it haps that many insult where they mean to praise, and get soundly punished, and rightly so. Others desire to charm by their conversation, and only succeed in boring by their loquacity.
注释摘要
这则格言的标题与正文构成一句完整的话：不要让你端出的那口食物令人倒胃，否则它带来的不适远多于愉悦。这是一个关于施惠之失的解剖，核心不在善意本身，而在善意与对象之间的错位。 葛拉西安在这里抓住了一个极具体的社交困境：你真心想讨好某人，却因为完全不了解对方的口味而适得其反。他把这比作失去了一枚罗盘——你知道要驶向“愉悦”这个港口，却没有辨别风向的工具。“tas…